The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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