white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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