Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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