Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i think i have two assholes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
