my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
