I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
