The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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