I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
