So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
