If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
