We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
