Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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