Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
