He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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