you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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