Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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