dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
