Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
