my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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