Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
