i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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