Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
