He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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