I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
