guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
