You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
