"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fill condoms, not promises.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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