So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
