Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Randomize
