Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
