oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
