..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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