We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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