i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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