She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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