you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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