If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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