I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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