Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
