i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
