I want to walk on stilts...naked
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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