i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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