apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
