Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
