she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
