my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
