I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
