i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fuck appropriateness.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We just shotgunned beers for America
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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