And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
