wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
